June 2009
Top Ten Messages Left On Sharon’s Answering Machine
10. Billy—Hey Sharon, since you’re already pregnant anyway, let’s make use of your room at the club!
9. Doris—Sharon, it’s your mother. Did I hear you right? You slept with how many men?
8. Sharon—Oops! I dialed my own number!
7. Murphy—Patrick Murphy speaking. We can call the Governor and borrow that gun back for you, dear.
6. Olivia—Dr. Winters speaking. The baby’s DNA does not match the male samples. Is there someone else we can test?
5. Paul—I hear you need some help tracking down the baby daddy. Paul Williams Investigations at your service!
4. Michael—My brother, Kevin, is in no way, shape or form responsible for your pregnancy.
3. Jack—Honey, I’m home. Where are you?
2. Sharon—Oops! I dialed my own number!
1. Nick—Sharon, I’ll be waiting for you at The Colonnade Room every night for the rest of my life.
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